Samuel, Samson...

I am feeling a little like Manoah today. For those of you who only remember the Samson and Delilah part of the story, Manoah was Samson's father. One day, the angel of the Lord came to Manoah's wife and told her to lay off the booze because she was going to be a mommy. Now, this was incredible because she wasn't supposed to have been able to have kids. Okay, so how do I feel like this dude Manoah? Well, when she told Manoah that they were going to have a baby, his response is pretty similar to the response that I have now upon learning that I am going to have a baby. He said "O, Lord, I beg you, let the man of God you sent to us come again to teach us how to bring up the boy who is to be born."

I don't know if it is a boy or a girl - What I do know is that I need Christ (who I believe is the angel of the Lord) to help me know how to raise my child. The great thing is that I can ask directly! Isn't that awesome! Because Christ died for me and has accepted me into the family, I can ask Him about anything. This is a really scary time for me. I am now realizing that I have to throw off any selfish ambition. I want to dedicate my child to God not from the first day that it takes its first breath - but from this very moment. I do not believe that life starts when the child is born. Life starts at conception. If you could have seen little Peanut moving around 2 weeks ago, you would agree.

I have been looking at Godly parents in the Bible who raised their kids in a Godly way. I am really impressed with Hannah. She gave her baby to God before God even gave her the baby. I need to be able to give my child's life to God totally. I want my baby to be surrounded by God's presence. I know that I will not always be able to make decisions for my child - look at Manoah and Samson later in life - but I can raise them to know which choices are good and bad. I pray that God would direct me as I embark on this scary adventure. I want God to speak through me instead of the baby always hearing my voice telling them what I think that they should do.

Don't Worry - Be Happy :)

Okay, so another cute baby picture I found online. I can't wait to have pictures of my baby!! I was trying to imagine what it is going to be like last night. I am so excited!

I had this funny dream last night. I dreamed that I could actually feel Peanut kicking. It was magical. Then I woke up - and realized that soon I will be able to feel little Peanut. And not long after that I will hold Peanut. The love that I feel for this little squirming creature inside me is incredible. This is truly one of the greatest miracles that could happen to Hubby and me!!

I am going through so many changes right now. Trusting God is more imperative than it ever has been before, probably.( Then again, has there ever been a time when I felt like I didn't need to trust Him - that I could handle things on my own?) Right now my body is changing alot. Already, I have NO waist. I am tired, and sick - except for about 3 hours in the middle of the afternoon. I cry at Hallmark commercials. (Yeah, I know - it's pathetic. Hubby tries to keep a straight face.) My plans for grad school are gone - for now. And you know what - I couldn't be more happy. This shows me that what I think is good for myself may not always be good for me. But, God's plan is always awesome! So, once again, I am reminded that I don't have to worry. God has things under control. I can just sit back and take commands and NOT WORRY!!! Believe me, I am very tempted to worry - alot. But then I hear the reassuring, all-powerful Voice that I have learned to love and trust saying, "Haven't I always taken care of you? Isn't it Me who is building this baby right there inside of you? Then relax already. It's okay. I've got it."

I made gingerbread cookies with my mom and dad and Hubby tonight. It was so much fun! Christmas is coming soon! There is so much to celebrate!!! Yeah!!

When I was driving home alone tonight, I just kept thinking about how awesome God is. Lately my praise for Him has been centered around how He has been affecting my life. And then the realization came upon me tonight - praise like that is so easy to give. I want to give the kind of praise that comes for no reason, as well. I want to just sit back and quit thinking about myself and really think about Him. I want to tell others. I want to REALLY PRAISE Him. I want the kind of adoration for God that comes just because He is God. It is there - alot - in my heart. But, I want MORE!!! I want people to be able to see it. I don't want to hide it - or forget it - or base it on circumstances. I have to end this with Scripture again. This comes from Psalms 96.

"Ascribe to the Lord the glory due his name; bring an offering and come into his courts. Worship the Lord in the splendor of his holiness; tremble before him, all the earth."

CUTE!!!

Isn't this just the cutest thing that you have ever seen? I love the way a baby's feet look. They are so cute!!

Soon, Hubby and I will have baby feet to look at in our own house. The little bundle is expected to arrive on July 1st. Isn't it exciting?!!!

I got to see my baby for the first time on Wednesday. The doctor let us do an ultrasound. Baby was just moving her/his arms like crazy. Looks like its got alot of granddad's and Uncle Mike's hyperactivity. (This leads to one worried mommy.)

What an awesome responsibility Hubby and I have now! We are hoping that our friends and family will surround us with their prayers so that we can effectively hear God's voice and follow His direction as we teach and provide for this new little life.

I have to end this with Scripture. This is from Psalms 139:
"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."

Landlords...

Last week there was glass all over my kitchen floor. Little pieces of glass. Hubby and I had no idea how glass spread all over the apartment. We kept sweeping and cleaning. Hubby found pieces of broken glass in the sink. So, knowing that he had not broken anything, he asked me about it. I was clueless. Then we realized - the overhead light in the kitchen had not been shining so brightly as usual. There are two lightbulbs in the fixture. Guess what happened to one of them? Water from a leak that we have had since mid August had been seeping into the light bulb, causing it to explode. Do you think that my landlord is concerned? Her answer to the problem was to have two fat guys look at the bathtub and re-caulk the decaying bathroom floor around the tub.

Do you think that she will care if the floor caves in? What about if a fire starts? Why do I have this luck? My last landlord wasn't anywhere in the running for best landlord of the year. Looks like this one doesn't fit the catagory either.

So as the fat guys are leaving my house, they inform Hubby and I that using the tub/shower is off-limits for the rest of the day. Are you kidding me? I have to go to work tonight. I have to shower and get dressed in order to go to school tonight - and class today. So I called the landlord after a slight confrontation with two plumbers whose combined intelligence doesn't even match that of my dog's. Her response - take a shower at the neighbor's house. Ha! Those of you who have had to be subject to Hubby's and my ranting about our neighbors know what a laugh that is.

I find myself busily cleaning and saying the serenity prayer over and over and over...in my head. "Lord, grant me the patience to change the things I can and to accept the things I cannot..."