The Life of a Housewife...

The life of a housewife is not easy. I have just finished ironing Hubby's shirts. It took me about an hour and a half. I still need to dust, vacuum, mop, scub...The list goes on forever. Oh, yeah - and I'm cooking supper tonight. Thank goodness I cleaned the living room carpet yesterday.

It's not that I don't enjoy it. In fact, despite being tired all of the time, I really do get a sense of satisfaction out of cleaning. I never really think that my house is as clean as it should or could be, but cleaning in and of itself is actually fun.

Ooooh. I almost forgot that I still have to grocery shop today. There is no milk or stuff for lunches in the house. I hate grocery shopping - and ironing. Those are the two things that I abhor the most. The rest actually - yeah,I'll say it again - is fun.

Did you know that the average housewife - were she to receive a monetary payment for her services- would make over $130,000? At first it shocked me. Then I thought about everything that a housewife does - laundry, house cleaning, child rearing, cooking, gardening... Yep. That's about right.

Have you heard about the "mommy wars?" I think that it is the stupidest thing that I have ever heard of. I read on CNN.com that there is apparently a "war" going on between mothers who stay-at-home and mothers who work. Isn't that weird? I have always thought that that is a personal decision that should be up to the individual woman. I can't say that I haven't encountered subcurrents of the sentiments born in this conflict. It is always a awkward thing for me to tell people that I plan to not work in favor of taking care of my child. Most men think that it's great. Most women - with the exception of most of my friends and family - just sort of look at me and say "oh." That's it. I think that they suddenly get this picture of me sitting back in my fuzzy robe and slippers on the couch eating bonbons and Doritos while watching Oprah - if I wake up in time to watch Oprah. Honestly, I think that would suck. Or maybe they see me as one of those yuppie soccer-mom stay-at-home wives who's goal is to be thinner than their 13-year-old daughter. Then I would be "jetting" off to aerobics every morning with my make-up perfect and my yuppie work out clothes all matching. After that I would meet other yuppie women for lunch and manicures while my child was in pre-school. Of course, I would pick him up in my mini-van- because a car just isn't big enough for three people. Then I would take him to McDonalds for supper before heading to soccer practice. At soccer practice I would dish gossip with the other moms and complain about rising gas prices...Give me a break!
Instead...I am the barefoot and pregnant and in the kitchen wife ironing her husband's clothes and singing popular songs from the 1890s to my little boy, who - ha,ha,ha- can hear me but can't get away and can't tell me how much I can't sing... Oh, yeah, and when I finish that I take a moment to blog (making me a geeky housewife) in order to inform the world that I am tired and I know how to procrastinate.

I still think that CNN was short for news that week.

All right - my 15 minute break is definitely over. Now I must go to the grocery store. I am making chicken Francaise, citrus salad, and - maybe - panna cotta di casa for dinner tonight. Wish me luck.

My First Mommy's Day

Today was my first mother's day. It was wonderful. I went to my mommy's house this morning for breakfast. Then my little bro and I and the two puppies fell asleep for about 4 hours watching Hogan's Heroes while Hubby went to class. Then my mom beat me at two games of Chinese Checkers. (She was definitely cheating...)

Hubby came home and I got my mommy's day present. Somehow, I knew what he would do. I love him so much. He got me a year long membership to the zoo. So, we went out to the zoo and walked around the botanical gardens today. It was awesome.

So...after that we went out to dinner. We tried to go to about two or three different restaurants. Oh, my goodness! All the yuppies and brats that were out today!!!! It was a little scary. The wait times were outrageous. We finally went to a well-known Italian restaurant where I could get my calamari. (I love that stuff...) We sat across from the laziest hospital pharmacy technician to ever mix up an IV bag. Her children were absolute brats. Knock on wood - my little boy will know how to behave in public. I had to do some quick remembering of the cute well-behaved little boys that I have known in order to not freak out about what laid instore in my future. (I have two little cousins - one is 6 and one is 2 - who are absolute angels. They actually sit in a chair and eat like civilized little human beings. They say "yes, ma'am" and "no, ma'am." They listen to adults...Can you imagine? When the oldest little boy was about 3 - I think - he went to the store and cried for some flowers so that he could take them home and give them to his mommy. Isn't that the sweetest thing?)

Then we came home - after stopping to look at the sunset over the lake. I got to talk to one of my really good friends. Now, I am going to watch a movie with Hubby. "The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance" - no less. That is one of my favorite movies!!!!

Right now, however, I am just sitting here - relaxing, stuffed full of calamari and breadsticks, and thinking of how my life is changing radically... I am a mommy. I am somebody's mommy. Isn't that weird? I think that I just realized this week that my mommy wasn't always a mommy. That is also kind of weird to think about. She didn't always know how to say the perfect thing or ignore gross stuff - like her vomiting little girl running to her to be held... She wasn't always thinking of two kids before she could think of herself. She just sort of fell into it on June 8th (I feel old - let's not mention the year...). Sort of like I will sometime around July 1st, 2006. All I know is that I hope that I am one-tenth as good of a mother as she is. I am truly blessed by God to have such a wonderful woman as my mother. I have always known this - on some level. Now, I truly, truly know it. And I am sure that I will become even more sure of this when I hold my baby boy. Pregnancy does surely bring a girl even closer to her mother - even when I didn't think that it was possible to do. I love my mommy - what can I say?

We found a black kitten on our doorstep. I want him. Hubby said "no." He is mean. He also has a nasty cough. He has to go to the doctor this week.

I love this outfit! The dress is really feminine - without overdoing it - and really unique!
(Just had to share...)

Graduation Day...

Life is definitely changing...

Hubby graduated from law school today. I stood in the crowd with his family and my parents - just watching him. His baby was moving in my belly. My cousin was there - she only has one more year of medical school - watching her brand-new fiance graduate, too. (By the way, congratulations! I am soooo happy for y'all.)

Two years ago, I would have laughed - or freaked out - if anyone had told me this is how my life would be now. Two years ago, this time, I was in a crummy, awful, miserable relationship with someone who constantly stomped on my self-esteem. Two years ago I was stuck in a career path that I hated, but didn't have the courage to break away from. Two years ago I thought that my chances of ever being married and having a son would be near to zero. Two years ago I thought that if I could ever break-away from my home town, I would never look back. Two years ago, my last name was different - and I thought it would never change. Two years ago was a long time ago...

As I sat there watching my husband complete a major accomplishment in his life, a wave of emotions washed over me. Sometimes I forget how briefly I've known him. It just feels as if he's always been there. I can't imagine life without him. It hit me today, that for the first year and a half of law school, he and I did not even know each other. (Oh, we had met...He was a jerk at our first meeting and didn't find me attractive one little bit...) When he started out on this, I am sure that he would never have dreamed that he would be a husband and almost-father at the end. I just felt greatful. Greatful that God did know all of that. Greatful to be this man's wife. Greatful to be carrying his child.
And I thought about how I will not be graduating. And I thought about how hard I have worked - how close I have come to a degree...twice...But I felt as if I had walked across the stage with Hubby today. (Be that as unfair as that may sound.) I know that this is where God wants me. I have asked Him and asked Him - why pharmacy? I hated it. I hated it the first day of classes in pharmacy school. I was miserable - until I finally got the courage to walk away from such a lucrative profession. Now I am two classes away from a 4-year history degree. (Wow, let's jump up and down for that one, the cynic in me screams...) But it may as well be a million more classes. I have a son to take care of now. I can't just leave him to go to class....But for some reason, I really believe with all that I am worth that this was part of God's plan. And so many times in my life, I have come to see that God's plan is always best for me.

Hubby and I had a picture taken with Doc and her fiance. And I thought about the irony there. When we were little girls running around our grandmothers house, or at the zoo with our moms - who would have thought that we would both marry lawyers? Lawyers who had the same classes together - and graduated together? Crazy, huh? No, not really. It's life...

I know that I may just be emotional today. It's been a long day and sometimes pregnant women get a little emotional - at least that's what they say. But, I really think that some day when I'm an old woman, pictures of today will flood my mind. I'll try to put into words for my grandchildren what this day was like. And they will listen patiently - but they won't see what I saw...They won't understand. They will have their own graduation days...their own life plans...their own memories...

Breaking Down the Walls that Bind Me...

Wouldn't you say that someone has lost alot of weight?

It sort of makes me wonder why. Did she really think that being thinner was more beautiful? Did she go through a rough patch and think that by not eating she could gain control over at least one part of her life? (Yeah, I've been through that one before. Exercise - and lots of it - also helps give you a feeling of control.) Was it outward influences convincing her that this would add to her appeal? What was the reason?

By the way, I think that Beyonce Knowles is one of the most beautiful women in the media. She always looks gorgeous and well-put-together. Sometimes her outfits are a little more revealing than they, perhaps, should be, but I guess that's just show-biz, baby...

Ladies, let's fight back against the media's ever-present pressure to be twiggy thin. Being super-thin is not necessary to be a complete and total knockout. What most people don't take into account is the fact that a beautiful attitude and personality may cause someone to find you more attractive than a see-every-rib level of thinness.

And, ladies, let's think about this - God created our bodies. He is the one who "knit" them together. Our bodies are His temple. Our bodies should not be our obsession, however. Could you imagine our spiritual lives if we put as much concentration into prohibiting harmful thoughts from entering our minds as we do about letting fattening foods enter our bodies? Can you imagine our prayer lives if we worried about exercising our right to come before the throne of God as much as we worry about sweating away a few pounds?

Believe me - weight issues are something I constantly struggle with. I started secretly dieting when I was about 14. I have been dieting ever since - off and on. I still struggle with the fact that I will never be a "real" size 0. There was a time when I thought that a diet coke and 5 pretzels was a wonderful brunch. It was a game for me to see how little food I could eat - or how long I could go between meals. The fact of the matter is, I am coming to the realization that I have a wonderful man who thinks that I am beautiful just because I am "me." I am beginning to see that what my parents - bless their hearts, the worry that I have caused them at times - always told me is really true. What's on the inside really does make the outside of a person more beautiful.

I am not condoning laying on the couch with a 2 liter of coke and a bag of chips. Wow. In fact, I have a high level of disdain for those who think that sounds appealing. Gross! What I am saying, however, is that we should strive to be healthy. This means taking good care of the bodies that we have on this earth, but don't go crazy if your jeans are a little snug. Too many girls judge their self-worth based on a dress size. Get over it! There is more to life than that. (I am telling myself this, too.)

I was thinking about this in my own life. It is hard to break that thought pattern. You know, the voice that keeps whispering in your ear that you are looking a bit chubby compared to other girls around you - whether you really do or not... I have come to the conclusion that I can sit around and feel depressed because I have put on a few pounds, or I can get out and enjoy life. Come on, what do you think would be more fun?

I hate that all-consuming, miserable feeling that I feel when I think that I am getting really fat. It usually comes around as the result of some other stress in my life. I pray that the next time that I feel like that, God will remind me of what is really important. I know that feeling is going to come back - most likely sooner than later. But, I want to go for a walk (can't wait to be able to run again) and pray, and remember what is important. And ya know what - my dress size ain't it.

I am not in a good mood. I was asleep this afternoon - that is, until our neighbors started being loud as all heck. I hate loud, uncouth, low-class, no-account people. Alright, so maybe I don't hate them - but I dislike them a whole lot. They have been playing their radio so loudly - hip-hop gangsta style - until there is no quiet place in my whole house. Poor Hubby, he is sick and can get no rest. They have the first time to wake my little baby up with their Tom-foolery. I will get them told, I am afraid. Hell hath no fury like that of a brand new mother...

The protests yesterday make me want to vomit. Why the heck would you think that you can come into the country illegally, yet still receive government money - without adding any money back to the government yourself by way of taxes - and think that this supposed to be okay? Are you stupid?!!! I really hope that English is made our country's official language. It would be about time. I do not intend to learn a new language just to talk to a bunch of people who come to live in my country and have not the gumption to learn the spoken language here.

Wow, I really am misanthropic today. But, that is as usual. It would be best if I took a drive somewhere. Sitting in my own home - with no peace, thanks to the people renting behind me - is making me ornery.

Little Miss, Little Miss Can't Be Wrong...

No carbs...Hurry up, Peanut! Mommy's starving!!!

I hope those cigarettes going to make you cough
Hope you hear this song and it pissed you off.
I take that back I hope you're doing fine
And if I had a dollar I might give you 99...

I had a really awesome dream - about me being dressed in hoop skirts and petticoats...I was planting a vegetable garden, I think. I know that Hubby and my parents were there. And I was upset about the Yankees coming. I don't remember the rest. Oh, well, too bad.

I finally saw a reminder today that Lexington is really in the South, after all. (As opposed to being Virginia and Florida, and Myrtle Beach and Hilton Head status - geographically in the South, but definitely not Southern...) All county offices will be closed on May 10th in order to observe Confederate Memorial Day. That made me very, very happy.

I am hungry. I don't really want to eat anything, though.

Lord, teach me to love people. Even if I completely hate their actions...

I met some very distant-they-don't-count relatives. I just happened to google my mother's maiden name and found a lady who is looking for information on that family line. It appears that her great-great grandmother was the sister of my great-great grandfather. Neat, huh? I was able to share some family stories with her. She is going to give me more information, too. I think she moved out West - don't ask me why...

Don't try to act like you ain't know where we been either ...
In the club all the time..., pop off ....
G-unit...

Because you can't starve us out and you can't make us run
Cause when them ole boy raised on shotgun
We say grace and we say ma'am
If you ain't into that, we don't give a durned...

Hubby is sick. I finally get a chance to take care of him. He has taken care of me so many times since we met.

I have my last final exam tomorrow. Ugh!!! No fun.

I went to the doctor today. He said it could be any day now. I asked when Hubby and I should nix trips out of town. He said after the next visit - in two weeks. It is really close. Wow. He said that he would prefer that the baby come after 36 weeks - that is full term. But, really, he said anytime after 30 weeks is fine. I am 31 weeks. I think that this news will make the next month or so just drag out.

Doc also said that my sugar is borderline. He doesn't want me to eat anymore carbs for the rest of the pregnancy. That is fine with me. I really don't want anything except hotdogs and sauerkraut - which he said was perfectly fine. I haven't gained anymore weight in the last 3 weeks. I don't intend on gaining much more weight for the next month or so. Let's see if I can do this.

I was filling out Peanut's baby book. The book that we chose is really cool. It has Bible verses at the bottom of the pages. There is a growth chart, a family tree, a space to put the history of his name, places to put pictures... My mom and I looked at every book in the store. When we saw that one, we both knew that was the one to get. Another thing that I like about it is that it has places to record his first, second, and third years of life.

Wow. Can you believe it? I am a mommy - almost completely. But, really, I feel like a mommy now. I hope that I am the kind of mother who has that nurturing, gentle touch about her. Do you know what I mean? I have met alot of really great mothers who just aren't gentle or very nurturing. I don't want to "baby" Peanut too much, but still... I am praying that God will give me that softness to be the kind of mother who can get away with rocking him for hours, and kissing away all of his little hurts, and making the magic chicken-noodle soup that cures all sickness, and knowing just the right word to take care of his little heartaches... I tried to ask my mom how she knew how to do all of those things, and she just said that it came with the territory. I hope so...