Survey Says...

This is a survey that I made up. The answers in pink are mine. The answers in blue are Hubby's. Hubby is not aware of my answers...and I answer first, so I don't know his either...

1.Who is a bigger ho - Nick or Jessica?
Definitely Nick...But Jess is a huge ho as well.
Madonna.

2.What do you like least about wallpaper?
That it even exists.
It's existence.

3.What do you like most about wallpaper?
The fact that when you wet it with fabric softener and peel it off...It reminds me of the way that my skin peels when I get sunburnt...But I haven't really been sunburnt in so long, I barely remember what it's like.
Nhhhaaa...

4.If you were a stripper...What would your stripper name be?
Splenda.
Pabst Blue Ribbon Heather.

5.If the moon were bar-b-que spare ribs, would you eat it?
Only if it were mustard or ketchup based barbeque.
Of course. Especially if it were vinegar barbeque.

6.Have you ever stuffed anything up your nose?
No. But I read a book about a boy who stuffed pebbles in his nose. I always wondered what it felt like.
Sure. What else is a midget for?

7.Who is better...Old Yeller or Lassie?
Definitely Old Yeller...until he went loco...
Old Yeller was way cooler. However, I think Sounder could of kicked both their butts.

8.Who would make the best President ever?
Jerry Garcia would have made a great President. But maybe Jimmy Buffett now. Or ...the best President ever would be Hulk Hogan.
Jean Luc Picard. With Chubaka as his vice-president.

9.Can the government be trusted?
Heck fire no! The law is self-interested and twisted and corrupt. There is no justice. They really do listen to every phone conversation with this big machine...And when certain buz words pop up, they red flag you. And then you might be audited by the IRS...or something worse...I shudder to think...
It depends. Is that capitalized?Yes.Pink Floyd's mother says the government cannot be trusted.
10.Who is the cutest baby in the world?
Mommy's little Micky-Bear!!!!!
Peanut. My baby-mama's baby.

It's Pacey!!!!! Don't you just love Pacey? I do. Do you remember when Pacey and Joey got locked into KMart? And Pacey let Joey shave him? And they almost kissed? I think that was sooo beautiful. Since watching that, I have always wanted to shave someone. I wonder if Hubby would let me shave him...

I think that Dawson handled the matter like a true gentleman. Anyone could tell that he really, really loved Joey. But he knew that she loved Pacey. So Pacey ended up with Joey. And Dawson had that great career where he wrote that series about all of them...and in the series he got the girl. Beautiful.

I tried to read a Conneticutt Yankee in King Arthur's Court by Mark Twain. What a horribly boring book! I couldn't get past the first 50 pages. So...I am now reading This Side of Paradise by F.Scott Fitzgerald. I think I like it. I haven't gotten very far, yet...But there is just something so refreshing about Fitzgerald's realistic, sarcastic take on life. I think that it is good to read that view point, too, instead of always reading the sugary sweet views expressed by other works of literature. I think that is why I like Charlotte Bronte. She just realizes that some things about life just suck sometimes. But you deal. And I like Jane Austen...well, for many reasons...but alot because of the way that she always has one character who puts it to pretentious people...in one way or another...either to their face (which is always best) or behind their backs in a mocking way. And all of the dances. I like the parties where the fashionable people don't have poise or grace or good manners. Wow. I really love Jane Austen.

It is sooo much fun to try to name your future children. It has become a hobby of mine. I love my baby!!!I want lots and lots and lots of babies!!!

No, Joshua Jackson will never be just Joshua Jackson to me. He will always be Pacey.

Have you seen who that ho Jessica Simpson is dating now? My man John Mayer. But that's okay. Hubby is much sexier than John Mayer. And since he lost me to Hubby (we were going to get married), he just let himself go. So Jess can have him. Plus - Jess may be a ho...But Nick is a man-ho. Yep...I said it.

A fly is having babies in Hubby's coffee. I hate flies. I can't find a fly swatter anywhere.

Doc, I was thinking this morning about our old trips to Chucktown. And how much fun we had! Shopping on King Street...going to the beach...One day...we will have to go there with the hubbies. Especially since you are getting married this spring! Yeah!


hubby says "No." Hubby will say "yes." I just have to keep nagging him until he lets me shave him...

"Oh, so you are awake." Yes, I am awake.

Update to Haircut Day...Let me take a deep breath and remember that my hair is not a reflection of who I am...
Baby was really wonderful for the first twenty minutes. After that he fussed mildly...(It started when the hairdresser covered my face with my hair.) Then he screamed alot. But he was so cute, and he stopped crying the minute I picked up his carrier. Just too much estrogen floating around, I guess...

I ate sushi last night...Yum...Sushi... It was sooooo good. Yummy sushi...

The only court trials I like are the ones on TV so that I can laugh at Cinnamon the Stripper screaming with Destiny the Psychic about twenty-five dollars that one "loaned" the other ten years ago when they were drunken college girls. (Okay, so maybe it couldn't have been ten years...But some of those cases happened a long time ago...)

I think that people subconciously name dogs "Lady" so that they will have a good stripper name...Or maybe it's their kids that will have a good stripper name...Why do I think that an occupation that is so loathsome is sooo funny? Maybe it's because everytime I think about Cinnamon the Stipper, I see an 85-year-old woman in some wild outfit going to the local church for a fundraiser striptease...Didn't I tell you that I was weird? Someone - actually more than one person - has told me that I would be so much fun if I ate a special type of brownie...I don't know what they mean...

I must clean...I must clean...But I already did the fun stuff yesterday...I scrubbed the kitchen counters and floor and the bathroom floor and ...well...the bathroom. Today I have to fold and put away the clothes that I washed, and dust and vaccuum. I hate doing that! And...CRAP...I have to iron. Ironing is from the devil.

Yoga pants are good cleaning pants...They are most unattractive on me, however...But it doesn't really matter, does it?

Chocolate toffee popsicles make a wonderful breakfast...followed by hearty helping of whipped cream...But the popsicles are weight watchers and the whip cream is fat free. That makes everything okay...

Thanks, Aunt Faye, for the great memories of the breakfast that Michael and Savanna and I ate with you. I think every adult should let kids eat pound cake and chips and coke for breakfast...at least once in awhile...People are too uptight about food. Life is too short for that.

Bon Appetite!!

Today holds all the promise of a new haircut. That could be good - or that could be a disaster.

I am taking The Mick with me to the salon. I hope that he does not 1) cry or 2)flirt too much. That boy loves to flirt! You should see him smile and laugh and grin at people...He's soooooo cute!!!An old lady touched him on Saturday. I didn't like it. I was holding him as close to my body as was possible. And she touched him anyway - after parking her caddy in the three spaces next to me...

"How cute is that baby..." And she touched his leg and his arm. I was freaked out. What would she do if people just came up and touched her leg?

Harry Morton bought Lindsey Lohan a puppy to "make her calm down." Isn't that weird?

I was looking at hairstyles online last night. I keep going back to the Jennifer Aniston bob...But apparently no hairstylist can replicate that in their memories...How do I know? They tell me. Weird. I don't even know if it would work on my super curly hair. What I wouldn't do to make my hair grow! (And maybe just be straight for a little while...)

Coffee is a wonderful substance. Hubby's coffee was wonderful last night. We tried to go to Wired Bean - a great coffee shop, for Lexington...- but they were closed yesterday. We had already left The Mick with his grandparents (which, by the way, he has right where he wants them). So we went to Books A Million. Hubby got coffee, but I thought it best that I skip the caffeine. Wow, that was good coffee...

Hair cut time...

Sometimes I forget that God did not create us to be completely independent creatures...Those times never last long...maybe an hour...minutes...seconds...Then I come crashing back into His arms and your arms...Will you hold me there for a while and let me rest?

It's so nice to wake up with them...They look alike...only different sizes...And my cheesy soul adores both of them...

No matter how much I pretend I don't care - I do care. But you already knew that...

I want to swing...I want to soar high into the air and come racing back to the ground and then back into the air and then back to the ground...And I want you beside me...And I want laughter...And I want sunshine...And I want an early autumn day...I want to feel like I'm flying and that sad things don't happen ever and there is no hate and chocolate has no calories...

Sometimes run-on sentences are the only way to express yourself. I like being completely liberated from the tyranny of grammar.

You think that I don't like "different." But how could I not like different? I am different. Different is what I know. It is the differences between us and you and him and her and them that let me see a glimpse of your and his and her and their souls...It is so hard to see someone's soul. Sometimes it is dirty and torn and tramped upon. Sometimes it is radiant and clean and pure and beautiful. Sometimes it is bleeding and pained and injured. But their are walls up. They won't let me or you or them see. They want to hide their souls. I wish that everyone would break down their walls. Or at least put up a fence that would let me get just a glimpse. I wish that I knew how to let you and him and her and them get a glimpse of mine. They say that the eyes are the windows to the soul. But I don't believe them. Everyone has a part to play...

I like green and yellow and red and blue and PINK and black...Yes, I like black. And black IS TOO a color! They even made a black crayon. And a white crayon. And a pink crayon...But the pink and white and yellow don't really show up on white paper. They just make the page look glossy.

Why does everyone want to sleep like a baby? My baby wakes up about every few hours. You should want to sleep like me in my pregnancy days. I used to sleep for a long time. Not now. But that's okay.

Mmmmm...I was just thinking about nice things...I was thinking about my baby and InStyle magazine and pink stillettos and big, dangly earrings and cotton candy and poodle puppies and runs in the rain (that would be a good Indian name) and pink roses and Vera Wang fragrance and big bows and sage green curtains and Ethan Allen settees and empanadas with cold coffee and smiles on a friend's face and kisses from Hubby and 1/2 point chocolate popsicles and chocolate birthday cake and the way it feels when Mama rubs my hair and cookie monster and my friend's new cat (though I haven't seen it yet, but it sounds like a very nice kitty...) and happy days at the lake with my cousins during childhood and BIG families and how wonderful my family is and HOW WONDERFUL IT IS TO BE A CHILD OF GOD! Praise God for the comfort that His love brings! Praise Him for His many blessings that He pours...not just gives...but POURS out on the undeserving, selfish, people who want so badly to please Him but can't do it on their own because they mess up so often so they beg for grace which He gives so freely!

I had forgotten how much I like the song "Mexico" by Incubus...or any other Incubus song... This song always makes me want to curl up in a cushion with a hot cup of coffee...

I think that I like Damien Rice...I had never heard any of his stuff...untill now...

She's such a fortunate fool...

I miss my baby...But I have had some really good sleep...I think that I will go get my little one SOON!!!!

It's all for you...You got me where you want...

Ooooooohhhhh....I am so hot...

I want to drive somewhere...I want to speed...I want to feel the air blowing in my face...I want to crank the music up so loud...I want to watch the countryside flying past me...

My body aches...

I want a motorcycle for Christmas...I miss the way it feels to go speeding through the countryside on one...Hmmm...Maybe I could convince daddy to take me for a ride...when I feel better...

Sometimes I want to look like the girls in the magazines...And then I think, "What does it matter anyway? We'll all look the same in a thousand years..." Morbid, huh? But, really...What's important is the part that won't just be dust...God, help me to remember this.

Let's go on a picnic...By a stream...

Further down the river...

I haven't felt the way I feel today in so long it's hard to specify...

Thoughts on being sick... :(

This is a weird day...
I had chills this morning...and now I am dripping sweat...I ache all over...I am going through baby-withdrawal - he's with his granddaddy...Pooh!!!!

Hubby is gone, too. He is watching a divorce of two lesbians...I am all alone...I think I will eat a can of worms...

I want to take a bath...but I am too hot to bathe now...Yuck!!!

Baby was smiling at mommy this morning when I picked him up. He looked puzzled when he saw his granddaddy downstairs...But he smiled at him, too. I miss Baby! I don't know what to do with myself when he is not around...Yesterday was a prime example. I had to go to Columbia to run errands for Hubby. So, Baby stayed with my daddy - who got off work at 12:30...I felt naked. I was never so glad to see his little, smiling face...Okay, maybe I am just as glad everytime that I see him...

Oh, little playmate..I can't come out and play with you. My dolly's got the flu. Boohoohoohoo! I can't slide down your rainbow into a pot of gold. But we'll be jolly friends forever more!

If only there were someone here so that I could whine to them...

What's your name, little girl? Tell me - what's your name...Shouldn't you stay, little girl? Well, there ain't no shame...
Heaven's to Bessy...Somebody ought to be ashamed! Wonder what their mama thought of them writing that song?

Lonely...I'm so lonely...I need somebody....HERE so that I can WHINE to them...Whining to oneself is not fun...