So...you would think that I would be used to packing up boxes by now. This is the fifth move in three years. Uuggghhhhhhh!!!! Only this move is different...I now have two little bear cubs - and all their toys - to prepare for the move. My son is definitely fine with moving. Everytime I tell him that he is moving to a house with a slide and a swing in the backyard, he smiles and says, "Slide!" Sometimes he even claps.

Lately I have been working on my attitude. I set up glasses with water in them and think, "half-full...half-full...not half-empty...half-full..." Ever the cynic, I am having a little trouble with this. I am trying, though...really trying. I'm not going to think about how dirty the house is now...about how much I am going to have to clean it before we move in. I am not going to think about all of the boxes that I have to pack, then unpack. I am not going to think about how weird a big, empty house can feel. I am going to think about how I am not going to have to contend with neighbors who eat food that smells as if it only belongs in the toliet. I am going to think about how my clothes will actually smell like detergent when I pull them out of the dryer instead of stinky rotten meat. I am going to think about how nice it will be to work on my tan when the babies are outside in a little swimming pool.(With me right there with them, of course.) I am going to think about how nice it will be when I can do the grocery shopping again - thanks to the absence of two flights of stairs and a crowded parking lot. And I am going to think about how a library will be close again! Yeah for books! Yeah for Clifford the dog coming to visit the library in May!!!

I dreamed last night that I was nominated for "How Do I Look?" - which I have already decided that I would rather be on "What Not to Wear"...Anyway...I was trying to be upset when people threw away my old clothes and criticized my dress, but I could hardly contain and mask my excitement at the thought of a makeover. It is pretty bad when I thought that the woman with the 6 month old baby on "Ten Years Younger" looked great compared to me.

I think that the important thing for me to remember is that I need to enjoy each and every second of my life. It doesn't matter how old and tired I feel. It doesn't matter if I cringe every time that I look in a mirror or step on the scales. It doesn't matter that I haven't a clue as to how to style my hair because I haven't done it in so long. It doesn't matter if I am always behind on my housework or if dinner burns every night because I have to change diapers and chase down babies in the middle of cooking it. These are happy times. I realize that when I look in my babies' faces. When I can finally let go and let myself play with them...things are great. When they are grown and gone, I'll have a wonderfully immaculate, beautifully decorated house...and I'll be the cleanest - can you believe I'll shower everyday, sometimes 3 times a day?!! - best groomed, ultra -toned woman you ever did see. And I know that I will feel as if a piece of me is missing. I don't want to miss this time to be close to my children...to get to know them...to watch them grow up. God has really blessed me by allowing me to be the primary care giver for my children. I am so thankful for the fact that I don't have to drop them off anywhere for another woman to watch them take their first steps or teach them how to use the potty...This is a blessing. This may not be the life for everyone, but it is for me. And I am going to enjoy every second of it.