Exams

So exams have already started. Hubby had his first exam on Monday. I have two exams, one take-home exam, and three papers to write. I am freaking out. I am so tired I only want to sleep. Oh, well...

Tonight I get to work at the candlelight tours at my historical job. I am so excited!!! When I was little, my family used to go every year to the candlelight tours downtown. It is so exciting that I get to participate this year!!

My fascination for strawberries has now turned into hamburgers. Yesterday, I ate a hamburger for lunch, one for supper, and two guilty bites from one last night. I just ate another for lunch today. You know what -I'll probably eat one tonight, too. Isn't that crazy? I usually don't like them that much.

I have been so busy lately with so much on my mind. I am trying so hard to just worship God in a very special way this month. Every year I tell myself that I am going to really celebrate Christmas in the way that it should be celebrated. You know - really concentrating on the true meaning of the holidays. But then life just hits me. I can barely remember where I am supposed to be the next day. Christmas just creeps up on me. Christmas night is always such a disappointment. I finally realize that the day slipped past me and I am giving God the last five minutes. I am determined it will not be this way this year!!! My first real Christmas decoration is the nativity scene. And the Bible is open on the coffee table to the Christmas story. That way I am forced to remember it when I open the door.

I just feel so guilty, though. It seems as if it should not be something that I would have to work at. Remembering the most important gift at Christmas time. That should be easy. So why is it so hard for me? I hate commercialization of Christmas. I think that it would have been great to celebrate Christmas prior to 1870 when people didn't really exchange gifts, or put up alot of elaborate Christmas trees .... Christmas was purely about worshipping Christ. Yeah, I don't think that there is anything wrong with Christmas trees or Santa Claus, or gifts. I do think that it is wrong if they become your primary focus. And that is where I struggle. By God's grace, this year will be different.

Strawberry Popsicles

Lately I have been consumed with strawberries. I wake up in the middle of the night thinking about them. Throughout the day, I think about them... It's insane. So, I found these great strawberry popsicles. I have eaten three today. They are so good!!!

I was thinking about Christmas today. This is a really special year. Hubby and I have never celebrated a Christmas together. I am really excited. Isn't it crazy to think that Hubby and I did not even really know each other last year? I have alot to be thankful for this year. God has performed so many miracles in my life. There are the big miracles - bringing me and Hubby together for one...and others... But there are those little everyday miracles that most people just think are part of the ordinary. But they aren't. It is those little times where a sunset is so beautiful that it takes your breath away. Or that cute little baby at the family Thanksgiving dinner. ( Four of my cousins had babies this year. They are so cute!!!-The babies, that is.) Sometimes I can just really be in such a bad mood. I mean things can really be making me lose sight of how I really should be feeling at the time. And then it will happen - a miracle. Something that stops me in my tracks and puts everything into perspective. No, I don't think that those little things are just everyday coincidences. I think that God puts them there. Little everyday miracles.

The miracle that I always think about happened about 2 years ago, but it still makes me smile. I worked at a grocery store pharmacy - which was CRAZY!!! I was leaving for the day- and in a very sour mood. This little boy stopped right in front of me as I was walking out of the door. My initial reaction was to think "Lady, can you keep an eye on your kid? I mean I could trip over him, and he is adding seconds to the time that I am in this place." But then I realized what he was doing. He had grabbed a grape from produce. He put the grape in the runner of the electric sliding door to watch it get smooshed. That's when the miracle happened. I was suddenly reminded that life isn't supposed to be spent feeling aggravated or angry - Life was about watching grapes explode in the electric door at the grocery store. (Okay, not really.) But we should be more childlike. After all, didn't Jesus say "...the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." And he was talking about children. Isn't that awesome?

Just So Happy

I am so happy today! There is something that God is doing in my life that I can't quite blog about yet, but it makes me so happy!! Lately I have felt His Hand on my life. I always know that it is there, but I can't always feel it - but these past few days! I have really been able to hear His voice so clearly. It is great!! It makes me appreciate how awesome Heaven will be because there we will be able to hear Him and talk to Him with no other distractions. Can you imagine?!

I have been reading Acts lately. I don't even know how it crossed over, but somehow a verse in 2Corinthians chapter 5 was related to what I was reading. Of course, I had to read the whole thing. The chapter was talking about how one day we will be with Christ. That makes me excited! I love my life here. I love Hubby, my family, and my friends. I love sunsets and strong November winds. I love flowers and sunshine. I love alot of things that God has given us here. But I have been reminded that this is not what I was made for. This is just the time for me to prepare for the trip when I am going to my real home. I always procrastinate. If I am going on vacation, I am always the girl throwing everything into a bag 5 minutes before running out of the door. But, God is trying to tell me that I can't do that with this. I am supposed to be ready. And it isn't something that you can do in any set amount of time. Even if I am here for another 60 years, I still need to prepare now! Accepting Christ isn't just enough. You have to really work at it. And there is no return ticket. We will be with Christ for eternity! Isn't that exciting? The Bible says :"Now it is God who has made us for this very purpose and has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come." Isn't God awesome?

Things that Make Me Happy

Here are a list of things that make me happy:

1.Hubby
2. Puppies
3. People who say "God Bless You" when someone sneezes
4.brightly colored umbrellas on a gray rainy day
5.A child's laugh
6.sunsets on the beach
7.running farther than I ever have before
8.Making strangers smile
9."How Do I Look" with Finola (Style Channel)
10.CHOCOLATE
11.New perfume
12.warm spring rains
13. when something touches my heart and makes me cry
14.realizing I am only human and therefore weak, but God is infinitely strong
15.Thunder storms
16.peanuts in a coke
17.Long drives in the country
18.the way a friend's eyes light up when they are truly glad to see you
19.the way an accent reminds me that humanity reaches far beyond the small world I have grown familiar with
20.going to sleep to the cadence of crickets and cicadas and waking to the song of birds
21.the independence that I feel when I go somewhere alone and the accepted and wanted dependence that I feel to my husband as we forge our lives together
22.I love the way Hubby understands me as if he has known me all of my life
23.being Southern :)
24.to see palmetto trees planted by a busy city street 200 miles from the coast
25.pink ribbons
26.to see a child holding their mother's hand
27.feeling ultra-close to my family (We're like the Southern mafia - minus the crime)
28.praying with Hubby

And most of all, my relationship with God makes me happy. More and more I am realizing that to serve God gives me the greatest joy. I once heard someone say that even if there were no heaven to gain, then serving God would still be completely worth it. And I agree. Foremost, because He deserves our praise. He alone is holy. And also because just being His child gives me peace and promise. I can relax and "be still and know the (He) is God." I love and praise Him and thank Him for all of His blessings - great and small. Is there such a thing as a small blessing? I don't think so.

I Wish I Were at the Beach

It has been such a blah day. I came back fron the beach last night. What fun! I did not want to come home. Hubby and I went clamming with my parents and some friends. My dad and I got to run on the beach at sunset on Saturday. God really blessed us with a beautiful view and a great time together. I love my parents so much. It has really been such a blessing to have such great Christian people there to provide guidance - and now friendship - to me.

Today, however, was back to reality. And...I think that I am getting sick. I was sick for almost the entire time that Hubby and I dated. (Not that it was such a terribly long time - but still...) I have no time to be sick! I have to finish out this whole year of school really well. I really want to go to grad school for history. This year contains the bulk of my history classes - and I really need to take the GRE. And I only have about a month and a half to study for the GRE. Which leads me to my favorite pasttime (even more favored than cleaning...) - worrying.

By now I should know that my worrying does no good. Yet I still sit around and think about the numerous things that could go wrong in life. Last night it just seemed like God hit me with the verse "Cast all your cares on Him for He cares for you." (It's in 1 Peter.)I've heard it all of my life. I thought that I believed it. And then last night, I realized - I've been too busy worrying to really listen to the words. Do you know how awesome it is that the Maker of the Universe and all that is in it - the One Who put all of these tiny little cells in their places and taught them how to interact with each other in a precise manner - the God Who has wiped out entire civilizations with one word (think Noah, Soddom and Gomorrah...) -- This same God cares for me!!!??? My first response is WHY? And then I just settle back and stop worrying. No, not for good yet. But I just keep reminding myself that He loves me - and He wants me to unload all of my cares on Him. And so suddenly, nothing seems quite so bad anymore. I can just relax. It's kind of the same feeling that I used to have when I would fall asleep as a child in front of the fire while my mom or dad rocked me to sleep. Safe, secure, knowing that I am being taken care of...Isn't God awesome?

I Hate Cluttler!!!

I hate clutter!! My apartment was clean - though I felt as if it could use about 13 more hours of cleaning. Now, it is the chaotic mess that I hate. Most of that mess is thanks to little Miss Bella. She can find paper where I did not know that it existed. One of her favorite pasttimes is shredding paper all over the apartment. She likes to punish Hubby and me when we don't walk her or when we leave the house. So, on the weekends she is a perfect angel. However, when the week days come along she turns into a little devil. What she doesn't understand is that when she creates more mess around the house, I have less time to spend with her. I keep telling her this, and she just doesn't get it. Therefore, tonight I would have liked to play with her, but now I am cleaning.
Hubby and I ran tonight. We ran out of time, too. (Only I will probably think that those two sentences together are funny.) I think that I am going to start training for a marathon - or at least a half marathon. The Myrtle Beach marathon is coming up in about 4 months. I think that that would give me enough time to train for it. I was looking at the schedule that Oprah used when she ran her marathon. In the beginning, you only run 3 miles 3days a week. On the weekends you run one long run of about 6 to 10 miles. That isn't bad at all. If Oprah can do it, I can, too. Yeah for Oprah!!! Oprah is proving once again to be an inspiration to the masses.
So this weekend is my father's b-day. Yes, in my family, b-days are not celebrated for only one day. They are a whole week long celebration. Hubby and I can only take off one weekend. We - meaning my whole family - are going to the beach to camp and clam and run and bike and antagonize alligators...Yeah, I'm excited. This is the first time that Hubby and I will go 21st century camping together. I am really happy! I just want to run on the beach at either sunrise or sunset - or both. I can't wait to clam this year. I love to do that. It feels so great just to get muddy and work until you ache all over. Then, when you go back to camp, you get cleaned up and steam the clams over a big bon-fire. It's one of the most fun experiences that you can ever have. I hope that in Heaven, I'll still be able to clam. I know that if God doesn't let us clam up there, there will be even more fun things to do. However, I don't think that God lets us do things here for no reason. I think that all that we learn and do will bear some relevance to our eternal lives. Nothing happens for chance. Everything has a purpose.
Have you ever thought about that? I mean, sometimes I just really wonder why God has put all of these things here for us to do. Sometimes, I think about how short our lives are, and I think that all of the time that we spend studying and working is just a waste. In my mind, if we are only here for a short time and we will be in heaven forever, I sometimes wonder why we don't spend time learning about heavenly things rather than earthly things. And then it hit me the other day - what if the things that we learn here are preparing us for heaven. The Bible says that we will be known there as we are known here. So, maybe that means that the things that we do here are no accident. Maybe they also play into a heavenly plan. I know that there will be no sickness in heaven, but people in those fields might be learning the compassion and caring that could translate over to a heavenly life.
That verse that tells us that we will also be known there as we are known here has also been really troubling me. It gives some reassurance. I know that I will not be separated entirely from my family or from Hubby after death. But, then there are those that I know and love who might not have the relationship with Christ that is needed. I am going to know that they are not there and I am going to miss them. That has really been bringing me to pray for those that I know and love. I really thank God for bringing this new burden to me. It shows that He is using me for His purpose to bring people to Him - even if I just pray and don't verbally tell anybody about it.
I guess this would be a good stopping point now. I think that my thoughts just ramble on. So, I guess that I should just get back to cleaning so that I can play with demon-puppy so that she will not punish me anymore tonight or tomorrow. :)

History

This may seem a little like a history lesson. I really did not intend to make my whole blog a lesson, though. It' s just that I was thinking about my honeymoon this morning. I was wishing that I did not have to go to class and that I could still emerse myself in history all day...Oh, well, back to reality.
Did you know that I have the honor of working in a very historical place? My job is my absolute dream job. For a whole day or two a month, I get to go to an old house where others who have gone before us have lived and breathed and eaten and entertained and cried... The list could go on forever. My biggest pet peeve with some people who would proclaim themselves to be "history buffs" is that they take a much colder, aloof view of the events that have passed over the ages than I believe that they should. Those people that we talk about lived, had emotions, were afraid of death...just like us. They did think in different thought patterns. Their culture was different than ours. But the bottom line is that they were human beings who did not have the capacity to look at the events that they were living through with any more idea of the impact that those events would have than you or I do about the events that we witness daily. To them it was just life, and it was filled with uncertainty and pain and joy. So, I get the opportunity to tell the story of people who lived and breathed and died while I stand in the place that these people called home. Who wouldn't love a job like that?
Hubby does not believe that the dead can communicate with the living. I am not sure one way or the other. However, I do know that their are some things that cannot be explained. For instance, when I do go to my tour guide job, several rather unexplainable things have happened. And not only to me. I took my parents on a tour last week. I have to lock my group and myself into the house during the tour. That means that there is no other people in the house to make certain noises. While I was giving the tour, my mom became aware of the footsteps that were over out heads on the floor above us. She kept asking me if anyone could have gotten into the house. There have also been other instances where I have heard breathing and, once, I heard a voice. I was talking to a group, so I could not hear what the voice said. The "spirits" in the house do not really show themselves to many of the house's visitors. They like the tour guides, I think. They have been very open with most of us. While I have only heard of one person who saw one of them (a lady in an old fashioned dress), they do make their presence known in some way.
It's not only that, though, that makes me believe that the dead may, possibly, be able to communicate. There is an old country road near my parents house that I would have to go on to go home. When I go over the road, I feel my blood run cold. Now, for a long time I just thought that I was crazy. (And I still might be.) However, there have been about three or four times that I have seen a young man in my passenger's seat while I was on a certain bend in that road. He is always dressed in a white t-shirt, and he leaves as quickly as he appears. I cannot explain this. This is the only time that anything like that has happened to me. I wish that I knew the reason.
I feel as if I owe some explanation for the pictures. I chose to display a picture of Jeb Stuart (one of the greatest cavalry commanders, who also was an inventor). Jeb Stuart has always been one of my favorite people. He never touched a drop of alcohol in his life because he had made a promise to his mother that he would not. Even when he was dying (he had been shot at Yellow Tavern), he would not drink to alleviate the pain. He was one of the major players of the war, being referred to by Lee as the Confederate Army's "eyes".
I also chose to show a picture of John Bell Hood's coat. John Bell Hood was engaged to one of the young ladies who lived in the house that I give tours of. He was also interesting in his own right. A cavalry officer like Stuart, he also differed from Stuart. He had lost a leg in battle. Therefore, when he went into a fight, he had to be strapped to his horse. He was also in much pain. He constantly ingested alcohol and pain killers, which sometimes lead to some rash decisions. When President Davis replaced Joe Johnson with Hood, the Battle of Atlanta ensued. Johnson had managed to hold back the Yankees for weeks with his approach at defense. Hood, however, wanted a fight. It was in this battle that his fiance's brother was killed. Some think that this is the reason that the engagement was broken off.
Okay, this blog is really, really long. So I'll end the lecture here - and therefore the reader's pain. Until next time... :)