Good Morning, America

There ought to be a sign hangin' round my heart
Don't judge yet, there's an unfinished part.
But I'll be perfect just according to His plan
Fashioned by the Master's loving hand.

He's still working on me
To make me what I ought to be.
Took Him just a week to make the
Moon and the stars,
The sun and the earth
And Jupiter and Mars.
Oh, how loving and patient He must be
'Cause He's still working on me.

I woke up early this morning. Not by choice. One of my neighbors came home drunk and without her keys. So, she kept hitting the house until the windows rattled and yelling at the top of her lungs. I went downstairs to see what was wrong at 4:30 this morning. And now I can't sleep. Poor little Peanut. Mommy won't let you get any rest, will she? Four hours a night just isn't enough for a growing baby. That's okay, sugar. Mommy won't ever be upset when you wake her up in five months.

Five months - and my baby will hopefully have been breathing and crying and sleeping...on Planet Earth for a couple of weeks. I can't wait! Every time that I feel the little critter move inside me - it's just magical. Peanut is really getting quite active in there. Every day I am just hit with this growing sense of love for my child and fear for the future. No, it's not about that scary story that someone told me one time about how the baby gets here. Man, I'm just going to let the stork bring this one. But, I'm really scared about raising a child. This was definitely God's timing - not mine. I am scared. Here is this brand new little life. No vile thoughts in its little head. No knowledge of what life is like. And its going to look to me for everything. It's up to me and Hubby to teach it about the One Who created it. I have to explain to this sweet little life that the One who spoke the universe into existence, Who is eternal, is the same God who humbled Himself to come to earth as a man to die a cruel, humiliating death on a tree that He created at the hands of men that he created. Why? Because of people like me - and the sweet baby that I will give birth to. Because He loves us that much. And how do I repay Him? I mess up every day. My baby's going to see that one, too. And I'm going to have to explain that no one killed Christ. He gave up His own life willingly. It was at His own command that His Spirit left His mortal body.

I am going to have to explain how eternal life through God works. I'm going to have to explain how heaven isn't a selfish place. I'm going to have to tell my baby that not everyone is going to heaven. Heaven is only for those who believe in Christ AND accept His words. I am going to have to hope that I am not unclear. That I don't jumble things. That my baby really understands - because if Peanut really understands, then Peanut can't help but accept the message. If everyone really understood - if they really, REALLY heard the words - how could they reject that? How could they reject the One who loves them most - and with the most pure, undeserved love that they will ever know?

I am going to have to explain that works don't make you a Christian. But, then again, faith without works is dead. You can't live like the rest of the world - think like the rest of the world. I have to explain that to walk alone is better than to mesh into a society that has rejected Christ. No, it's not alone. Christ never leaves your side if you live for Him. But it's still hard. I face it everyday. My number of friends is fairly small because I am different - and I refuse to conform. And you can't go around condemning others either. Don't worry about what your friends are doing. Pray for them. God will take care of them just like He takes care of you. You have to show others the way through example. You have to pray - diligently. You have to give Christ your all - no holding back. You have to remain strong. And only God's grace can help you do that. But that's okay, because His grace is perfect and free for the asking.

Yeah, I'm scared. So, God, thanks for waking me up this morning. Thanks for the quiet time of early morning to prepare me for what lies ahead. Thanks for Your grace.